whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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