A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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