it wasn't lemon gatorade
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
