Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
