So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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