I heard we made out
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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