After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize