im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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