The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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