Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
