one word: firstdatebathroomanal
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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