everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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