No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
