Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
