Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
