i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
