I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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