Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I love you.
Bad choice
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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