I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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