I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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