whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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