Do vagina's smell?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
