I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
