Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
