im holly from the hills drunk
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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