TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
