Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
