super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
