Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize