Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize