is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
