4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
