barbara walters just said penis...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
