Just fell off a train. Bad.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he puts the penis in happiness.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Randomize
