Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
God I need to hump something, right now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
