oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
