omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
