I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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