i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
