I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
