Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
