508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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