At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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