I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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