My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
