My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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