I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
