I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
