theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
