Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
