Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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