I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
