He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
