um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
