He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
