you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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