worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
