My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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