I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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