That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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