Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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