Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
