Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Mom said you looked used
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
