Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
