Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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