there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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