how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
