How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
